When I first stopped drinking back in 2013, I remember thinking that losing my crutch was going to be incredibly hard. I had been using alcohol for years to numb. I numbed loneliness mainly. I had gone for periods of time without drinking – when I was pregnant and nursing, when I was trying to … Continue reading Reflections on Sobriety
Sliced-up Life
Three years ago today, I was sitting in my attorney’s office as my soon-to-be-ex-husband sat in the office next door with his attorney. We spent the day slicing up the life we had built together, with this asset going here, and that asset going there. We had to agree on where our kids would be … Continue reading Sliced-up Life
Click
Don’t you love it when things just click? You know - those days where everything just falls into place. I got one today. You may think that’s no big deal, but when you’ve been at the bottom of life’s emotional totem pole, holding your broken heart (and life) together as best you can, you get … Continue reading Click
Pity Party
Sadness. We all experience it – hopefully, only occasionally. I’ve been feeling it exponentially lately and trying so hard to focus on all the good things in my life, of which there are so many. But this morning, as I skimmed through my Instagram feed, I came across a post by a friend in which … Continue reading Pity Party
Words
I put my son on the school bus this morning and sent him off to his first day of high school. He was so excited to go. He kept saying, “I get to make new friends!” He was smiling from ear to ear and dancing around the front yard as we waited for the bus … Continue reading Words
Ch-ch-ch-changes
It always seems like when I’ve got one thing going on, I have fifteen other things going on simultaneously. Maybe it’s because action begets action or something. Whatever it is, my life is about to get really interesting, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. My daughter is headed off to college in a … Continue reading Ch-ch-ch-changes
Today and Probably Tomorrow
Until I was in my mid-40’s, I believed I could control things in my life. I believed that if I did THIS, then THAT would happen. I believed that if I cared for someone with all-consuming love, then surely they felt the same way about me. I believed that my life was what it was … Continue reading Today and Probably Tomorrow
Nemesis
You know what I’m doing? I’m hiding from math. My apologies to my father and all the other wonderful mathematics teachers out there, but I hate math. It makes my brain hurt. I’m in the process of acquiring my state teaching certificate to return to work. I’m an English teacher. My only deficiencies when I … Continue reading Nemesis
Time-lapse
You know how Facebook shows you memories from years gone by? I’ve been seeing some from a really shitty time in my life, and it’s impressing upon me how what you see on social media isn’t necessarily what you actually get. Or are living. Or are any semblance of whatsoever. The first set of pics … Continue reading Time-lapse
A Haircut Story
Sometimes, mostly when I’m exhausted, I start feeling sorry for myself. It’s not a very flattering admission to make, but it’s true. Lately, for a variety of reasons, I’ve been feeling worn out, irritated, and a little bit scared. This has led me to have some mini pity parties that I’ve (mostly) kept to myself. … Continue reading A Haircut Story
