This is a simple concept. But we are often sold the idea that unless we pardon those who have hurt us, we will somehow be less evolved, less whole.
I call bullshit on that.
You can be in the middle a full-blown, self-empowering life transformation, healing all sorts of wounds and STILL not like someone who hurt you. That’s ok.
The ones who hurt you are sent to teach you. They teach you where your boundaries should be. They teach you how to navigate negativity and cruelty. They teach you exactly what you do not want to be.
Their behavior is sometimes a mirror of your own. And when that mirror gets held up to you, do you like what you see? If you don’t, that’s a great indicator of where your corrections begin.
So you go about your correction-making. You form new habits. You sprinkle love, light, and your own special blend of magical unicorn dust everywhere you go, and those negative nellies might still be lurking in the background. They might step forward from time to time, wanting your attention or maybe even your forgiveness.
You don’t have to give it. You’re allowed to ignore it.
Say WHAT?! But, but, but… how can I possibly be healed and evolved if I don’t bestow my attention, exoneration, and magnanimity upon this person? Here’s how: keep in mind that doing that can be exactly what keeps you from moving forward.
Your immediate and requested attention to those who hurt you is not required for your healing.
The simple removal of our attention from bullshit clears the space for our own growth. Anger can be a great motivator and shield when we’re hurt, and that can be helpful. Anger and hurt will fade little by little with every step you take until one day, you feel nothing at all toward the people who hurt you. The long-awaited “meh” will eventually arrive.
That’s when you know you’re fine. That’s when you see the world really begin to open up to you. That’s when the other kinds of teachers show up with THEIR love, light, and special blend of magical unicorn dust. That right there, my friends, is the sweet spot – the one you made room for in your life. That’s where the juicy goodness is.