I feel like I’ve been going full-steam ahead for a while now. Between studying for and taking certification and endorsement tests to substitute teaching as much as I can to try to get my foot back in the employment door, I am using more intellectual energy than I have in a long time. I have an amazing special needs kiddo whose school and therapy schedule has not slowed down since Mom went back to work. I have another college-aged kiddo who’s back home navigating all that comes with being a newly-minted adult (hint: not always easy even after they’re “grown,” folks). I have a still-new domestic partnership that takes loving energy and understanding to make it thrive.
It all takes energy. And while it’s truly rewarding and often joy-filled, it can be downright exhausting.
I am not working today, so of course I made myself a to-do list a mile long. I got up at 5:45, made my coffee, said goodbye and have a great day to my posse, and promptly got to work on that list.
I got the first load of laundry going. I unloaded and re-loaded the dishwasher. I made the bed. I vacuumed all the floors/stairs/rugs I could reach without having to plug in the vacuum someplace else.
And as I rolled the vacuum back to the spare bedroom closet, I took a look at the daybed that’s in there with it’s fluffy pillows and cozy comforter, and you know what I did? I think you do.
I got right in that bed, people, and I closed my eyes and RESTED.
I took deep breaths because my heart was pounding from running up and down stairs and hallways trying to get everything on that damn list finished because I have to work the next couple of days, and I have a weekend to-do list that has nothing to do with the inside of this house and everything to do with the outside.
So I lay there, waiting for my heart to slow, breathing in…
…and breathing out.
I let my mind wander away from what I HAVE to do to the things I WANT to do. I thought about the beach and the moon and airplanes and the people I love whom I don’t get to see nearly enough. I thought about walking barefoot in the grass and my dog’s wagging tail. I thought about the way the sun feels when it shines on my face and the way ice-cold sweet tea tastes as it cools my mouth and throat.
I rested because I listened to my body when it saw that bed I never sleep in look so inviting. I closed my eyes and let myself dream for a little while.
All the things on my list had to wait a bit. The chores and necessities of running a household paused. And the world kept spinning – like the dryer downstairs whose beeping eventually woke me. It was my signal that rest time was over – at least for now.
And as I rose up from that heavenly respite, I was filled with gratitude that I was able to lie there with my thoughts for just a little while. It refreshed me and energized me. I needed it, and I listened to my body and mind when they told me I needed it. I don’t always do that.
Gonna listen to myself more often.