I feel like this pandemic is teaching me things. I think many of them I already knew, but there are some new ones thrown in for good measure. Maybe some of them aren’t lessons per se, but reminders or clarifications. Either way, the introspection isolating brings is, in many ways, eye-opening.
One clarification is that the older I get, the more introverted I become. I was always, always an extrovert. My mom says I was a “lonely child” – not to be confused with ONLY child – and that I wanted playmates so badly when I was younger because my siblings are quite a bit older than I am. During my divorce, I spent a lot of time alone. I did a lot of internal work and made a lot of course corrections. I made myself get really quiet and deal with my inner garbage. And although it was hard, it eventually brought me to a place where I enjoy being alone. I still like socializing, don’t get me wrong, but my own company is just as satisfying now, and I find that I crave peace and quiet in my life now like I never used to. Though I’m getting quite tired of staying home, I’ve managed to keep myself pretty entertained.
My low-maintenance ways are paying off! I stopped coloring my hair a couple of years ago. It’s pretty easy to go grey when you’re a blonde, so it’s been a pretty smooth transition. Although I definitely need a haircut, I’m not worried about my roots or greys showing. I also stopped getting regular manicures at the nail salon when I had to really tighten up my finances. Pedicures, however, are a different story, but I’ve ordered some tools to be able to take care of that at home too. I’ve never been much of a makeup, lashes, brows person, so my au naturale look isn’t too different from my fully made up look. I don’t think I’m going to shock anyone with my post-quarantine look.
You can teach an old dog new tricks – especially if you have YouTube. My son can grow some serious hair, and we’ve had to keep it short for a long time because he used to twist it into knots when he was younger. Needless to say, after 6 weeks at home, he was looking pretty shaggy. After finding that almost everyone online is sold out of hair clippers, I mentioned that fact to a friend who had some I had given to him years ago that had not been used. Guess what? I went and got those suckers, and after watching a few how-to videos on YouTube, I gave my kid a pretty decent haircut! In fact, I’m not sure I’ll take him back to the barber/salon because honestly? I’m cheap and (as mentioned above) low-maintenance, and his hair looks just fine.
Finally, the tough one to admit, but I will. I’m learning to trust my kids’ father a little bit again. And I throw that “little bit” clarification in there because I will never fully trust him again. But during this unprecedented time, we have been in almost daily communication. It’s been somewhat reassuring to know that he’s concerned with what’s going on in my household. I don’t think he’s cared about that since he lived here – and I’m not even sure he did then. I know he’s checked on our daughter via text and phone calls. I have felt alone in parenting our kids for a while now, but his check-ins have shown me he’s thinking about them. That’s reassuring and something to appreciate.
Who knows how much longer we’ll be dealing with this? From what I can tell, no one really. So as long as I stay healthy, I’m just going to sit back in my with my silver hair and low-maintenance ways and keep appreciating and learning and enjoying the peace and quiet.