When my ex-husband left the home we had shared for years, there were empty spaces in the drawers and closets and bookshelves. He took a few pieces of furniture, leaving empty spaces where they’d stood. The garage bay where he’d parked his car? Empty. I remember walking around the house in those early days, looking … Continue reading Making Space
divorce
Sliced-up Life
Three years ago today, I was sitting in my attorney’s office as my soon-to-be-ex-husband sat in the office next door with his attorney. We spent the day slicing up the life we had built together, with this asset going here, and that asset going there. We had to agree on where our kids would be … Continue reading Sliced-up Life
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Pity Party
Sadness. We all experience it – hopefully, only occasionally. I’ve been feeling it exponentially lately and trying so hard to focus on all the good things in my life, of which there are so many. But this morning, as I skimmed through my Instagram feed, I came across a post by a friend in which … Continue reading Pity Party
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Time-lapse
You know how Facebook shows you memories from years gone by? I’ve been seeing some from a really shitty time in my life, and it’s impressing upon me how what you see on social media isn’t necessarily what you actually get. Or are living. Or are any semblance of whatsoever. The first set of pics … Continue reading Time-lapse
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The Biggest Mistake
I’ve made some pretty stupid mistakes in my life. We all do. But the biggest mistake I’ve made by far was completely stepping out of the workforce once I had children. I am not going to get into one of those ridiculous “mommy war” debates about this because we all know that, by and large, … Continue reading The Biggest Mistake
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When They’re Away
My kids are out of town with their dad right now. This is one of the side-effects of divorce: whether you want to or not, you will inevitably spend forced time away from your kids. I know of some parents who, post-divorce, don’t spend any time at all with their children, so the fact that … Continue reading When They’re Away
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Middle-aged Divorced Chick Gives Unsolicited Relationship Advice
Greet your partner with a kiss. When you’ve been apart, reconnect by wrapping your arms around one another and kissing like you mean it. The Gottman Institute says a 6-second kiss is all it takes to bring you back into your partner’s world. They suggest doing this when taking leave of one another as well. … Continue reading Middle-aged Divorced Chick Gives Unsolicited Relationship Advice
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The Drowning
At first, I didn't realize he was drowning. He was captain of the ship when he lost himself in stormy seas and decided the best course of action was to sink it. Many of us, the children too, went down with him. In the middle of that dark ocean, I would see him periodically, bobbing to the surface. His … Continue reading The Drowning
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Fear
Four years ago, the man I was married to decided to leave. Without going into the specifics of the depths of that particular hell, I will say that it scared the shit out of me. Everything I believed to be true was turned upside down and inside out. And I mean everything. I had spent half my … Continue reading Fear
Meatballs & Butterflies 