The Chance

One late night, a drunk person told me some cold, hard truths about myself. Hearing about the less-than-desirable parts of yourself is rough. Most of us already know them but actually hearing them spoken out loud to you by another human being can be jarring. I had been resistant to hearing things like this in the past even though I was well-aware of my flaws. The interesting thing about this particular person speaking those particular truths to me at that particular time, however, was that it didn’t hurt me one bit. Here’s why.

I had taken a pretty large personal and moral inventory in the months leading up to the Drunk Person Smack-down (as it’s come to be known in my head). I knew what my flaws, vices, and issues were well before this person spoke them aloud to me that night. I had already taken steps to correct these things, and I was well on my way to healing a lot of broken pieces of myself, by myself. What he spoke to me that night had been true, but it was no longer.

So as he stood there and called me out for my past mistakes, I straightened my back, and held my head up, and looked him right in the eyes, and I owned every bit of every word he spat in my direction. What was different was that those words held no power over me because they were no longer my reality. He was, ironically, numbing his own pain by using one of my old vices and lashing out in a way that I had many times before. It was like looking into a mirror.

As I look back at that night, I realize it was the Universe offering up a chance. It was a chance to see the truth about my old self. It was a chance to own those poor choices and shitty ways of operating in the world. It was a chance to let all of that garbage go. It was a chance to get better. It was a chance to move out of a past that was never going to be different. I was offered a beautiful, glorious, delicious chance to change.

What I’m most proud of is opening up my heart and taking it.

 

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