Turning 50 was a quiet big deal for me. Quiet in that I didn’t celebrate in any elaborate way, and big in that it’s brought with it a half century of growth, realization, and humility. I recently read a list about 50 things a woman over 50 should have, and I thought I’d write my own. These are material, mental, emotional, and spiritual items. Some of them I’ve achieved; some I’m still working on. My list is both different from and similar to the list I read. It’s a list specific to me, and I’d love to hear what others would add or subtract. This list will be “in progress” for me for the rest of my life. Without further ado, I present my 50 must-haves for this woman over 50.

1. a killer outfit in which you feel sexy and confident
2. a beautiful set of matching lingerie
3. a flattering pair of jeans
4. a meal you can cook from start to finish that is consistently good
5. a skincare routine that makes you glow
6. a dental routine that includes floss, dental visits, and cleanings
7. a consistent working relationship with your doctor
8. a personal statement that you revisit and tweak each year
9. the ability to support yourself financially
10. money in an account to which no one but you has access
11. the knowledge of how to invest money
12. a former love the thought of whom makes you smile wistfully
13. a former love who makes you proud of how much you’ve grown
14. a current love who curls your toes
15. the ability to curl your love’s toes as well
16. the ability to walk away from drama
17. the ability to set and honor boundaries for yourself
18. the ability to acknowledge and honor the boundaries of others
19. the understanding that the only constant in life is change
20. the ability to adapt to change
21. the memory of a kiss so passionate that it has become THE kiss in your mind
22. a valid passport
23. a person you look up to or admire
24. the ability to make a sincere apology and then correct your mistakes
25. a willingness to grow, learn, and evolve
26. a spiritual practice that nurtures your soul
27. a physical activity you enjoy and engage in regularly
28. at least one friend you can call at any time, for any reason
29. a space in your home that’s just for you
30. a will and other legal arrangements, especially if you have children
31. a playlist that makes you happy when you’re feeling blue
32. the ability to be alone and like it
33. the ability to be with others and like it
34. the ability to say no without making any excuses or offering any reasons why
35. the ability to discuss what’s bothering you without freaking out
36. a story from your past that is so juicy it makes you blush
37. a story from your past so sad it still makes you cry
38. the knowledge that you use “the good stuff” now and don’t wait for the special occasions
39. the ability to write a heartfelt thank you note or note of condolence
40. a piece of jewelry or furniture you have purchased for yourself just because you love it
41. a special place you go that soothes your soul every time
42. a hobby or pastime you enjoy and hold sacred
43. the ability to cry your eyes out and then move on
44. the ability to laugh until you cry – or pee yourself
45. a heartbreak from which you will have cracks in your heart forever
46.  a love that changed your life forever
47. acceptance of your past
48. acceptance of your body
49. acceptance of your mortality
50. the knowledge that you have no more time to waste on trivialities or bullshit because you’ve got things to do!

To be revised and continued…