Messages

Sometimes the messages you need to hear come to you from the most unexpected places.

I’ve been in the midst of making some pretty big life decisions that have not been easy. Midlife is wild, y’all! I’m at that point where I have to plan for the second half of my life and for my disabled son’s adulthood. It’s big stuff, and I worry constantly that I won’t make the right decisions.

In the midst of this, I’ve again come to the humbling realization that I have spent the majority of adult life so far being pretty co-dependent. I’m also a recovering people pleaser and accommodater. This means I have trouble maintaining boundaries, kids. I will give and give until nothing is left. And then I will feel resentful and stupid and taken advantage of. It ain’t pretty.

So the last few months I have really started to look at what I want the rest of my life to look like – not what my partner or my kids or my ex-husband want – what I want.

The problem is I don’t really know what I want. Oof!

I’ve spent a significant part of my life doing what I thought I should/ought/need to do. When you stop choosing for yourself for so long, or when you run on autopilot, or when you put other people’s needs and desires before your own, it’s far too easy to lose your own way. I thought my life was set, and then all hell broke loose with my marriage, and now my life doesn’t look anything like I thought it would.

So what does all this have to do with getting messages from unexpected places? Well, I’ll tell you.

I follow a wonderful person on Instagram who is reiki practitioner and spiritual healer. She always has soul-nourishing content and is regularly a source of inspiration for me. Maybe it’s the Pisces in me, but I have always been drawn to the spiritual side of things and take great comfort in prayer, meditation, crystals, oils, tarot, runes, you name it.

This person on Instagram whom I have never met and do not know beyond social media offered to do readings for 5 people via direct message today, and I was one of those 5. Her whole message for me today was about boundaries and getting clear with what I need. It was about telling the people around me what I need and being clear about what I will and will not accept. It was the Universe bonking me over the head with this message again. And I say again because just this week, two friends told me this exact same thing.

I guess what I’m saying is that the messages we need to hear will always, always find us. And sometimes it takes the message showing up repeatedly for it to penetrate.

And now, I’m off to make some decisions and set some boundaries. Wish me luck!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s