If you’ve ever been cheated on, especially if you were married, you might have tried to convince your cheating partner that they were making a mistake, that you love them (so of course they love you back), that they shouldn’t flush your relationship down the toilet, etc. This is one of the biggest time-wasters known to humankind.

Someone who values your relationship isn’t going to do anything to jeopardize it. They will see its value and make an effort to discuss any issues that may arise. If they’ve decided the relationship isn’t what they want any longer, they will be an adult and sit you down and explain that they’re leaving and why. They will take the necessary steps to end the relationship before starting up a new one. They won’t make themselves central in some love triangle for an ego boost.

If they leave, let them go. Don’t waste your precious time trying to convince someone who can’t see your worth that you are worthy. Do what you need to do to get out and move on with your life.

I understand this can be easier said than done. As someone who attempted for two years to convince my former spouse he was making a mistake, I speak from experience and the benefit of hindsight. If I had it to do over again, I would not have spent those years trying to prove to him that our marriage and family were precious and shouldn’t be squandered. It was up to him to see that – not up to me to convince, cajole, and prove to him they were.

Eventually, I filed divorce papers. There’s only so much cake-eating a person can take (I can take two years worth, apparently) before they decide enough is enough, and they end it. Even after all that time, the day he was served the papers, he said, “I can’t believe you raced to divorce.” Um. Say what? A friend of mine said she had literally never seen someone plod so slowly to divorce! I think she was right.

I suppose in the end, we all decide what we will and will not tolerate. But knowing your worth from the outset might save you some pointless convincing if you ever find yourself with a partner who thinks the grass is greener someplace else. And if they’re willing to jeopardize their relationship with you to go find out, do yourself a favor and let them.

You are worth more than that.