I didn’t write much while my house was in escrow. It felt kinda weird for me to do so while things were “in limbo” so to speak. But guess what?! It closed Friday!
I was fortunate enough to be able to move out prior to listing, but I was still the owner for about 6 weeks. I was regularly running by to be sure things were locked up every time someone had been there and double-checking to be sure everything was secure. It was still a mental burden.
I signed my closing documents last Tuesday and dropped the keys on the kitchen counter Thursday. That day, I had moment of melancholy so strong it brought tears to my eyes. And for the first time since I decided to sell, I second guessed myself. As I stood in “my” kitchen and looked around, I realized it was truly the last time I would stand there.
I had told my best friend I was having some feels about selling, and as I stood there about to really start sobbing, I thought about what she’d said: “You’re allowed to feel those feels. There were a lot of good memories that you’ll always have. Leave the bad memories right there and smile all the way to the bank!”’
And at that moment, I decided to do just that. I left the bad memories right there in that kitchen – the lies, the tears, the wishing-I-were-dead pain.
I remembered my daughter running through the house with her Barney toy, rocking my infant son in his room, dance parties on the deck, more birthday celebrations than I can count, Christmases and thanksgivings, and most importantly, healing my broken heart and learning that I was enough just as I was.
I was lucky to have called that place home for 21 years, and I’m doubly lucky that its sale has made possible new directions for me. I never would have seen all the good in my life coming 9 years ago. But here I am.
I have some other stories about that house I may tell in time – or I might not. I have a new chapter of life to live (and tell about) after all…